Alive

On October 22, 2010 I gave birth in my living room to the most precious little human being I could ever had imagined. To me he is perfect. I feel very blessed and lucky and actually humbled by the experience and the fact that I get to be responsible for this wee one's life. I feel privledged to be a mother. I. am. a. mother. AND I love my son. My. Son. (josh's too) - also, i don't think it takes giving birth yourself to have the same feeling of being a mother. I get how all the women who are able to adopt babies can love and care for the babies that become their own.

So far (in the past 9 days) I haven't had one bad moment, no moment where i felt like a zombie, no moment when I felt like a cow (and this kid can EAT). Just moments of love, laughter, gratitude, amazement at the human body/creation, appreciation for my own mother and for being a women. I feel alive. More alive than ever before. I'll embrace this time and welcome whatever the next stage is. Sure it will be trying at times, but what in life that is worth anything isn't trying?

I'm surprised with all the advice i received from friends and family, no one remembered to tell me new respect, appreciation, attraction and love i would feel for josh.

ok, so enough mushy stuff. 5 fun things about Sonny i love so far:

1) he is fuzzy - shoulders and back are covered in little dark fuzz
2) he flips me off all the time - he can only get away with that for so long
3) day one he peed on my face
4) he has loooooooong loud farts that crack me up
5) his face he makes when he is milk drunk

Here are some pics. oh and i'm almost done with my birth story so that will be the next post.

I fall in love with Fall over these things...

A lot happens in the fall that is worth getting giddy over. You know that feeling when you get giddy and you just want to roll & jump around the bed (I call it getting wiggly) that happens a lot to me when the temperature starts to go down. NOT winter down though! ICK!! just Fall temps.

So far in the last 3 days I have done 3 things that scream Fall goodness (4 if you count the last, but that happens all the time, but it is something i just love)

1) Popcorn Balls!!!!
I don't remember exactly when i started loving them, but i have loved them for as long as I can remember. We used to get them at the mall in Boulder when I was a kid and at school Halloween parties and maybe even trick or treating, but I can't imagine that that is a "safe" treat. So I made my own. Stuck to a simple recipe and they were FANTASTICALLY sweet and gooey.


2) Carving Pumpkins
I bought this little guy weeks ago and was glad I had time today to turn him into what he was meant to be all along. A perfect little Jack-O-Lantern. I am not one who has a vast artistic ability (I drew an Easter picture for josh this year and when we just came across it again this month, he thought one of the kids I baby-sit for made it). That being said, every pumpkin i have ever carved has looked EXACTLY like the one I made today.


3) Pumpkin Seeds
The second best part of carving pumpkins is getting to play with the slimy innards and the third best part are making baked pumpkin seeds. This is easy. Just put them on a baking sheet (mostly dried, just a little damp), sprinkle with salt and bake for 15-20 min. You can also coat them in melted butter first that is good too, but i forgot that step today.


4) Clean Sheets (again, this is not privy to Fall- just one of those nice things)
Oh laundry day can be a daunting chore (when you are on a 5th floor walk-up and have to walk a block to the laundromat)! But the end result is so wonderful. Today I did a few select loads of laundry (josh usually handles this- maybe that's why today was extra gratifying) and when the sheets come out of the dryer and they are still warm and you bring them to your face to smell, I can't help but take the longest breaths right into the sheets and comforter. It. just. smells. so. good. I remember this feeling going back to being just a little thing. When my mom had cleaning to do she would send us off to go play outside. After a long day of playing we would take a bath and go to sleep on super clean delicious smelling sheets with freshly washed fluffy blankies and special stuffed animals!

Oh the simple joys in life. I love you.

baby bump spotted

turns out i'm going to have a baby within the next few days or week or so. all i know is that it's a tiny little thing right now living and sometimes wide awake in my uterus. boy?girl? doesn't matter really.

last week i decided to document it with some maternity pictures. I sure am glad i'm married to a really talented photographer. and that he has some really talented friends. who do hair, make-up and wardrobe.

Here are some of my favorite web friendly shots:










Yeah, so... that's that. if you ever want some nice maternity shots i know a guy who knows how to work a camera pretty well.

Chrysanthemum, yum yum yum

i have a problem with measurements. Not in everything, just in things that grow when you cook them. Noodles, forget it. I start little and look in the pot, but it never seems enough so I add more. then a little more. Then once they are ready, there is no water in the pot and I am left with days worth of noodles. I can't get it right. They actually have kitchen gadgets for people like me to solve this problem. I do love a kitchen gadget but I am determined to get it right myself. I don't need one of these


All I need to do is remember things expand in water when cooked. Good rule of thumb.
SO.... a few weeks ago I walked by a little tea shop in the West Village and remembered I love Chrysanthemum Tea and that I should buy some.

When I made it the first time. Oh goodness. I over did it. josh laughed for a long time about it. the pot was FILLED with open flowers. FILLED.
Tonight I made some and it was better. Seriously though, look at the before picture:

It looks so tiny and I just went with it (even though i thought i should add more)
but it made all this!



Just remember: dried things grow A LOT when you add water and bring it to a boil.

AND remember: Chrysanthemum Tea with a drizzle of honey is quite lovely.

Veggie-tales

Not the creepy tv show. I learned about CSA's this year (Community Supported Agriculture) and waited until March 15th the first day to sign up for the Inwood CSA (I had the date circled on my calendar for months).

The first bounty was great and exciting. Farm Fresh Just for us, was what I kept saying for days after. And even now when I see our weekly fruit and veggie harvest I can't help but smile and think "Farm Fresh Just for us", cause that is what a CSA is. And this one is Organic and biodynamic. We get our veggies from Hawthorne Valley Farm. I'm not going to lie, sometimes they go bad. Sometimes we don;t have time or energy to cook them all and we end up tossing some out. That is a shame. Today I picked up this weeks share and this is what my fridge looks like:


Up top are string beans, concord grapes and that yellow bag is filled with Arugula (the adult's lettuce). So with all those colors and that farm fresh produce, this is what I decided to eat when I woke up from my nap and headed to the kitchen:


AND they aren't even home made. They are the powder mix that you just add an egg and butter to. BUT the butter was Organic, that counts right?

And so it begins...

If you know me, you know that one of the few things in life that I REALLY want is serve on a jury. Maybe not even serve, but at least be called and go thru the process. I think it is a great constitutional right and civil liberty that was given to US citizens in Article Three of the United States Constitution.

Surely we get to vote and mostly have the freedom of speech and exercise our constitutional rights that way, but I think that serving on a jury is the one of the ultimate American things to do.

I have no idea why I have romanticized it as such, but I have. When I lived in Florida I was called twice. TWICE! and both times when you call in the morning of, i was told i wasn't needed. That was sad.

Then a few months back, I opened the mail box and saw the County Clerk's seal and the words "Important: Jury Summons Enclosed" highlighted in red - i was so excited. Until, i read further down the envelope and saw it was addressed to Josh Maready. Josh?!?! Josh, doesn't want to serve on a jury (well maybe he does, but is a hassle for him being free lance and all). I want to serve on a jury.

When we moved apartments, I wasted no time calling the DMV to tell them i moved, so that they would update my records and somehow trigger my jury summons. When it came time to vote, again I quickly changed my address hoping it would trigger my jury summons (really I'm not even exaggerating).

Well Friday it came. I opened my mailbox and there it was. Such joy has only been recorded on A Christmas Story when Ralphie gets that last box hidden behind the desk and finds his long awaited Red Ryder Rifle. That's what it felt like for 30 seconds. Then I saw the date October 25, 2010. 6 days after my expected baby's delivery date. Yep. so guess who can't go to jury duty? Yep. me. i think i just shot my eye out. this just may be the first of many sabotages this kid does.

Are you afraid of the dark?

I am almost 30, almost a mom and I am scared of the dark. Not that I have to sleep with a nightlight, mainly because there is always some sort of glow from the windows, but I am scared to walk anywhere in the apartment in the dark.

I get out of bed and turn on the hall light to go to the bathroom. The Bathroom. This is where I am most scared in the dark. The mirror in the bathroom. That is the real problem. It freaks me out. A bathroom mirror in the dark is one of my only fears. Spiders? Nope. Snakes? Nope. Dying? Nope. Extreme adventures where you risk your life? Nope. Bathroom mirrors? yep.

I know where it comes from. It comes from Bloody Mary and Candy Man. I just never got over the slumber party / horror movie fear you are supposed to get rid of when you are say... 12? I'm 30. The idea of confronting my fear and standing in a dark bathroom while looking in the mirror and repeating Bloody Mary or Candy Man, scares the crap out of me. I mean what if something DID happen?? What if I saw something appear behind me? What if at that very same moment ANYTHING made a noise? I can't even imagine what I would do.

Sometimes when I get up in the night and go to the bathroom and just think the name Bloody Mary in my head i get scared and stop before I think it three times.

There you have it. My greatest fear in life is a bathroom mirror.