Sunday, March 20, 2011

Can I make it 12 steps?

an addiction. i have one. i know it's an addiction because i hide it. And my friend Shaniqua said that is how she knew of her sugar addiction. and i am no longer in denial. my other friend Miggy also has this problem. Is it a Mormon thing? Is it because we generally don't have other "toxins" we ingest? No Alcohol. No Tobacco. No Coffee. No Tea (herbal is ok). No drugs. So we take all the energy we would spend on those vices and throw it lightning fast at sugar? I think so. I've dabbled in all of the above and when I did, I sure didn't freak out on sweets like I do now.

I have to stop. Back up, I have to sloooow down. I try. Oh do I try. I see a cookie in the kitchen I walk past it in victory, then I literally walk backwards to the kitchen and eat the dang cookie. Cookie wins every time. Normally this would not be a problem. I think sweets are fine in moderation and as long as you are keeping active to balance out the intake then, cool. It's all good. Eat those cookies and candies and brownies and cakes and ice-creams and cream puffs to your hearts content. As long as it is balanced out. But NO, right now it's not. I am eating more then I am working off. And I am not ok with that.

I sneak my sweets now because I know I shouldn't be eating them. I say "Ok, one easter candy is ok." then I put the rest away and when no one is looking I eat another. NO ONE CARES. The fact that i hide it is bad news.

One time a few years ago, I really wanted a York Peppermint Patty. So I bought one and I thought "I'm going to eat this in the car on the way home and that way Josh won't know I ate it. I got home and this happened:
j: What did you eat that was chocolate?
c: Nothing.
j: Oh yeah?
c: Yeah. I didn't have any chocolate, why?
j: Well you have chocolate all over your face.

See? Busted. and you know what? Josh didn't care if I had that York or not. I didn't have to hide it.

I can't even tell you how many bags of chocolate chips we go through in this house. I can't tell you because I can't count that high. Every time I go to Trader Joe's I buy about 10. They don't last. Sometimes we will make a dessert every night and each time, we use a half bag of chocolate chips. Sometimes more. I LOVE CHOCOLATE CHIPS. I've been know to put them in my cereal for breakfast. Trail Mix- only if it has chocolate chips.

I'm going to go this WHOLE WEEK with no chocolate chip any thing - Make that NO special treat. I will allow myself baked goods and sweets only Friday-Sunday. I can do this. I will eat fruit. Starting now. I wish I didn't have those 4 cookies on the counter.

p.s. Fresh Direct Chocolate Chip Cookies are REALLY good.

1 comment:

  1. awwww man! i have the same problem! let us know how it goes!

    ps-it would be extra hard to get off sugar with that delicious pumpkin/choc chip bread you guys make!